


moon & sun

by hoseokmin



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Guys this is my brain child please love it, M/M, Smut, and wjsn, broken!hyungwon, broken!hyungwonho, featuring seventeen in later chapters, hyunwoo isn't in there much but he's there, not til 2nd chapter though, pining minhyuk, the good stuff is in chapter 4 ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:02:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9103654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoseokmin/pseuds/hoseokmin
Summary: Hyungwon was in love with Hoseok.Minhyuk is in love with Hyungwon.Hoseok cheated on Hyungwon.Hyungwon is broken. Minhyuk is there to fix him.Hyungwon doesn't realize Minhyuk is there for him. Destructive behavior isn't rewarding.Hoseok was his moon, Minhyuk is his sun





	1. Chapter 1

Hyungwon brushed his fingertips across the rim of coffee cup, licking his dry lips nervously. Hoseok sat in front of him, breathing a shaky breath as his fingers cupped his own coffee, tension hunching his shoulders.  
  
"Can't you tell me what is going on?" he asked now, his voice shaky and scared.  
  
Hyungwon looked at him, his eyes lidded with hurt and disappointment.  
  
"You should know what's going on, Hoseok," he muttered angrily. Life with his boyfriend had been bliss, at first. They met in a drug-induced haze their freshman year, ending laughing in a children's park and kissing under the stars. Hyungwon's wild phase fizzled out as college continued, but they always ended their stress-filled nights tangled in the sheets together, making bad jokes and laughing until they were falling asleep.  
  
That is, until Hoseok ruined it.  
  
Hyungwon should've known it would end this way, Hoseok was too wild for him. While he preferred nights in, cuddled under blankets and kissing until their lips turned bruised, Hoseok craved something more. Hoseok prefered nightlife, filled with drinks and hot, steamy kisses that ended in angry, passionate sex. Hyungwon liked it sometimes.  
Until he wasn't the one that Hoseok ended in bed with.  
  
Hoseok let out a shaky breath, squirming in his seat. His eyes were red underneath his blonde fringe. "Hyungwo--"  
  
"Don't. I already know what happened, Hoseok," Hyungwon said. He had already cried his heart out the night before, yet here he was trying not to cry again.  
  
"Wh-what do you.." Hoseok started, but Hyungwon turned away.  
  
He rummaged through his bag and brought out his phone, unlocking it and trying to avoid the lockscreen picture of Hoseok and himself. He brought up the messages, the ones that took him five read throughs to understand. He slid the phone to Hoseok.  
  
**unknown [1:01am]** eyyy  
**unknown [1:01am]** thsi is hyngwon right?  
  
**hyungwon [1:05am]** who the fuck is this  
**hyungwon [1:05am]** i was fucking asleep this better be fucking important  
  
**unknown[1:06am]** kiyhun  
**unknown[1:06am]** fuck *kihyun  
**unknown[1:07am]** i stole ur number drom hoseok  
  
**hyungwon [1:10am]** why the fuck did you  
  
**kihyun[1:11am]** listen i have 2 tell u smth  
**kihyun[1:11am]** dont b mad  
**kihyun[1:11am]** shit i am drunk but that's not what i need to tell u  
  
**hyungwon[1:13am]** well?  
  
**kihyun[1:15am]** .....  
**kihyun[1:16am]** listne im srry  
**kihyun[1:16am]** its killng me  
**kihyun[ 1:16am]** i dnt kno why it isnt killing hosoke  
  
**hyungwon[1:19am]** kihyun....  
  
**kihyun[1:20am]** please hynugwno...  
**kihyun[1:20am]** im srry  
**kihyun[1:20am]** hoseok and i had sex lastnight  
  
_Hyungwon remembered staring at his phone in disbelief, annoyance from his old friend disappearing and replacing it by pure heartbreak. He threw it angrily, tears sprouting on his red cheeks. Kihyun had to be playing a cruel trick on him. It wasn't true, Hoseok would never... Fishing for his phone and finding it in (luckily) one piece, he opened the messages and shakily typed out a response._  
  
**hyungwon[2:03am]** kihyun dont you fucking joke  
**hyungwon[2:03am]** if this is some bad prank  
  
**kihyun[2:03am]** no hyungwon  
**kihyun[2:03am]** im not jokin  
**kihyun[2:03am]** i wsish i fucking was but im not  
**kihyun[2:04am]** im so sorry  
**kihyun[2:04am]** i want to die  
  
**hyungwon[2:06am]** i dont believe you...  
  
**kihyun[2:10am]** click to load attatchment  
**kihyun[2:10am]** believe me now?  
**kihyun[2:10am]** i told u bc u desreve to kno  
**kihyun[2:10am]** im so sorry  
**kihyun[2:10am]** i loev u man  
**kihyun[2:10am]** im so fuckin sorry

Hoseok looked down at it, his eyes getting wide and sprouting tears. "Wonnie--"  
  
Hyungwon teared up, angry fat tears rolling down his cheeks. He clicked on the attachment Kihyun sent and the video started. Hoseok's grunts and dirty words started playing, his body moving angrily into a smaller, younger pink haired man. He didn't care that people started looking at them incredulously. He didn't care that Hoseok started to cry violently. Hyungwon smirked at him as his own tears slid down his cheeks.  
  
"Don't fucking talk to me, ever again," he yelled, grabbing his phone and bag and pushing out the shop.

_____

  
Hyungwon wasn't sure how long he had stayed in his bed. His hair was matted against his head, his eyes puffy and red, his baggy shirt stained from all of his crying. Normally he wouldn't be this way, he hardly ever cried. If it wasn't for stupid Hoseok...  
  
He didn't move from under the sheets when he heard the door to his room open. He didn't hear what the voices were saying, he didn't flinch when strong arms captured him and lifted him up, only clung to the strong person and gripped his shirt. "Hyungwon," whispered another sweet voice, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Come on, let's get you in the shower."  
  
He allowed the people care for him, letting the strong man hold him on the toilet as the other fixed the bubble bath. He closed his eyes as they undressed him and gently laid him in the deep bathtub. "It's okay, Hyunwoo, I have it from here, will you go get some food for him?" said the other man. Hyungwon heard the other leave, closing the door behind him as the blonde boy leaned against the bathtub and stroke his hair.  
  
"I'm here, Hyungwonnie," called the older male. Hyungwon opened his eyes and looked into the eyes of his roommate.  
  
He immediately teared up at the site of Minhyuk. "Minmoongie," he sobbed, leaning against his neck and gripping his shirt. "My Minmoongie," he sobbed, letting the younger wrap his arms around his bare body, holding him close.  
  
Hyungwon had known Minhyuk since they were children. Hyungwon had moved in the house directly beside Minhyuk, and since they were just a year age difference they clicked instantly. They were almost like day and night; Minhyuk had such a happy and sunny personality, while Hyungwon was brooding and pessimistic. They complimented each other well.  
  
Neither of them knew how long it stayed that way, Hyungwon sobbing for a broken heart and Minhyuk sobbing for his best friend. He pulled away once Hyungwon's sobs quieted, he had fallen asleep, and started to gently wash his hair. Once he was finished, he gently woke him and unplugged the bathtub, helping him dry off and slide on some clean clothes. If it was anyone else trying to help him, Hyungwon would've told them to go to hell. He and Minhyuk used to share bathtubs when they were little, he had nothing to hide. He was that comfortable with him.  
  
"Come, let's eat," Minhyuk said, offering a soft smile. "Hyunwoo brought us some greasy pizza and ice cream."  
  
Hyungwon took Minhyuk's hand and locked fingers with him, walking slowly into the living room and sitting on the sofa, tucking his legs underneath him and letting Minhyuk lay on him as they ate pizza in silence. Hyunwoo, their other roommate, ate in silence before excusing himself to his room. Hyungwon almost smiled at how Hyunwoo was so awkward. Ever since they met him freshman year, he'd always been shy and timid. He'd be caring, soft and gentle, but he never knew how to act in situations like this.  
  
Hyungwon stopped eating half way through his first piece of pizza, staring out the window and watching the snow slowly fall down. Minhyuk started to feed him.  
  
"Hyungwonnie," the other male said gently. "It's been three days, you need to eat."  
  
Hyungwon played with Minhyuk's fingers as he slowly chewed on the food. "Has he asked about me?" he asked in a quiet voice, rough and raspy from being unused for three days.  
  
Minhyuk pursed his lips. "Every day."  
  
"What'd you tell him?" he asked, looking at the older as his eyes swam with tears.  
  
Minhyuk smiled gently and fed him some more pizza. "Well, I made him feel really awful at first. He was crying like a little baby," he said proudly. "Then I told him it was none of his business. If he's going to treat you this way, then he doesn't get the luxury to know how you are."  
  
Hyungwon smiled sadly, eating another bite of pizza that Minhyuk fed him. "I'm acting like such a little bitch."  
  
Minhyuk chuckled. "Nah, I'd be acting the same way," he said softly. "Maybe a little more dramatic."  
  
Hyungwon looked at him. "A little?" he asked, a smile appearing on his face. Minhyuk laughed, causing him to laugh too.  
  
"Okay, maybe a lot." Minhyuk paused, brushing Hyungwon's hair out of his eyes. "I've missed your laugh, Wonnie."  
  
Hyungwon blushed slightly and looked down, grabbing Minhyuk's hand and shoving the pizza he was holding in his mouth. "Me too."  
  
Hyungwon leaned against Minhyuk, slowly falling asleep against the older's warmth. With Minhyuk by his side, he felt as if he could begin to heal properly. He didn't think he'd be broken for too long.

He was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk forces Hyungwon to go to a party. Someone else he doesn't want to see is there, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> featuring Shownu's Shook Face™ and Seventeen o u o 
> 
> trigger!!! Sexual things ahead!! you were warned.

**wonho[11:30am]** hey  
**wonho[12:04pm]** hyungwon we need to talk  
**wonho[12:37pm]** please answer me.  
**wonho[3:56pm]** i'm sorry  
**wonho[3:56pm]** i love you...

  
Hyungwon stared at his phone, looking over the messages as his eyes pricked with tears. He wanted so badly to give in, so badly to take him back but he knew it'd happen again. He loved Hoseok deeply, more than the breath in him, but he knew who he was. He would always be someone who craved attention and love from every single person he came into contact with. Nothing would be enough for him.  
  
It had been two weeks since he had officially broke up with Hoseok. He had set all of his things he had left in his house in a box and set it outside, refusing to look at him in fear of giving into his beatuful smile.  
  
He deserved better.  
  
Hyungwon wiped his eyes with the back of his sweater, standing up and throwing on his jacket and sliding his boots on. He had promised Minhyuk he would go out to a party tonight. He was mostly doing it to ease the mind of the older male, to show him he was going to be okay. He took one look at himself in the bathroom mirror, fixing his freshly dyed brown hair and making sure he looked halfway decent. His eyes were wide and watery, his lips puffy and his frame thin. He sighed, straightening his white sweater to drape over his long, thin legs that were covered in black ripped skinny jeans. He could've looked better, but he could definitely look worse. At least he managed to put on foundation to cover the acne spots that were beginning to pop up.   
  
He pulled his phone out, smiling gently at the new lockscreen. Minhyuk had insisted on changing it when he caught Hyungwon staring at the old picture of him and Hoseok. Minhyuk stole Hyungwon's phone and proceeded to take photos of him and the younger boy until he felt he took the perfect one. After he edited it to his liking, he set it as the lockscreen and handed it back to Hyungwon proudly.  
  
Truthfully, Hyungwon liked Minhyuk's sunshine smile more than Hoseok's cheating face. It was more attractive.  
  
His thin fingers typed out a quick message to Minhyuk, telling him he'd be on his way, and hesitated on his ex-boyfriend's name.  
  
**hyungwon[6:44pm]** I hate you.  
**hyungwon[6:44pm]** leave me alone.  
**hyungwon[6:45pm** ] forever.  
  
___

Hyungwon stepped into the hot frat house, almost feeling overwhelmed at the sheer amount of people in the small place. Lights flashed and music thumped in his ears as he made his way to find his best friend. He seen familiar faces, some from classes and some from mutual friends.  
  
"Hyungwon! Surprise to see you here!" shouted someone, looking at him with a wide smile and a red cup in their hands. Hyungwon looked up at them and smiled awkwardly.  
  
"Seungcheol, nice to see you," Hyungwon answered. "Have you seen Minhyuk?"  
  
Seungcheol pointed to the hallway that lead to the kitchen and turned his attention to Soonyoung and Chan, who was currently leading an intense dance battle. Hyungwon almost laughed as he saw Hyunwoo looking at them with an intense, surprised stare. "Join them," he whispered to Hyunwoo as he walked past him, winking at him as Hyunwoo blushed.  
  
Hyungwon met Minhyuk, a crowd around him as he told a wild story while waving a cup sloshing with a light brown liquid. Hyungwon chuckled and waved at him, Minhyuk waving back but continuing to tell his story.  
  
Someone gave him a cup of beer and he started to slowly sip, barely listening to Minhyuk's story but instead looking around at all of the people around him. Minhyuk could attract attention away from a cute dog, he was just that charismatic. Hyungwon admired him, honestly; while people flocked to Minhyuk, they dispersed from Hyungwon.  
  
Hyungwon leaned against the counter as he noticed Seokmin, one of Minhyuk's classmates from his theater major, laughing extra loudly at his jokes. "They're not that funny..." Hyungwon muttered angrily. It was probably the beer, but he suddenly wanted to punch Seokmin's face for laying his hand on Minhyuk's arm.  
  
Hyungwon found himself getting bored (he had heard this story countless times, it was getting repeatative) and snuck outside, watching it snow as he drank his beer. It was a lot quieter here, and he was noticed everything was setting him on edge. Seokmin's stupid laugh, the girls' squeals, Soonyoung and Chan's hype yells as Hyunwoo finally joined in on the stupid dance battle. He even heard the start of a rap battle between Hansol and a girl's unfamilar voice.  
  
He hated parties.  
He hated being so alone.  
  
He sipped the bitter taste of the beer until it was done, figuring he needed some more quickly before he lost his nerve and just went home. He turned around to step back inside and ran smack into the boy he was trying desperately to forget.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you here," Hoseok said, smiling sadly at him. He had dyed his hair black, making him look younger. His stupid ears still stuck out like a sore thumb.  
  
Hyungwon always loved his ears.  
  
"I only came for Minhyuk." Hyungwon said, rolling his eyes and trying to step away from him. Hoseok just blocked him. "Did you not get my text?"  
  
"Did you not get mine?"  
  
Hyungwon glared at Hoseok. "Hoseok, leave me alone. Why can't you get that through your stupid skull?"  
  
Hoseok winced, his hands sliding in his jacket and blew a breath. "Why won't you listen to me?"  
  
"Because, you idiot," Hyungwon said, gritting his teeth. He was fighting the urge to slap him. "You don't deserve to be listened to. You fucking cheated on me!" he cried out. "With my friend!"  
  
Hoseok looked at him, his eyes swimming in tears. "I know. I fucked up, I just.. I just want you to know," he sobbed now, his tears overflowing and running down his cheeks.  
  
"What me to know what?!" Hyungwon spat.  
  
"That I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry, I fucked up. I ruined the best thing I had in my life, I'm so fucking sorry!" Hoseok yelled back. "I miss you so fucking much, I can't breath without you. I love you, I love you, please give me one more chance. I'm sorry," he cried.  
  
Hyungwon looked at him, watching his ex-boyfriend crumble in front of him. His tears meant nothing, Hoseok could cry earnestly at anything. Deep down, Hoseok was a sensitive boy. Hyungwon would be lying if he said it had no effect on him, though. He had never seen Hoseok cry this much, not even when his grandmother died and they both spent two days in bed, Hoseok crying on Hyungwon's chest as his body tangled with the younger's.  
  
Maybe it was Hyungwon's desprate need to be touched again, to be loved again, to be _needed_ again, but he found himself clinging onto Hoseok in a heated kiss. His hands were sliding in Hoseok's sweater, feeling up the warm skin as he pressed the older against the wall. He wanted him to feel every ounce of pain he felt. He wanted him to suffer just as Hyungwon himself was suffering.  
They snuck inside, avoiding every staring eye as they walked up the stairs and into the first open room they found. Hyungwon didn't think about it, he just did. Hoseok was hovering above him in no time, their clothes discarded in the floor. Hyungwon ran his fingers down his ex-boyfriend's body, toned and pale but so gorgeous.  
  
Feeling him inside him was bliss. His fingers pressed marks in Hoseok's skin, scratching as he adjusted the size. "H-Hoseok," he let out a moan, his lips attaching to the older's as he started to move.  
  
Hoseok started slow, making sure Hyungwon was adjusted before pounding relentlessly into the younger, causing him to let out lucid screams. "There, f-fuck, Hoseok, please," he moaned, his back arching into the older's chest as he rammed into his prostate just right.  
  
Hyungwon was blissed out, and _fuck_ he already regretted it.   
  
They both came loudly, moaning each other's name. Thank god the music was still thumping. Thank god people didn't hear Hyungwon's brink to insanity.   
  
Hoseok rested on the other's body, still between his legs. Hyungwon stroked his hair with one hand, the other stroking his back. He teared up sadly, watching Hoseok tear up just the same as he did.  
  
"This was our last, wasn't it?" Hoseok whispered, his voice breaking.  
  
Hyungwon nodded, pressing a soft kiss against the older's lips. "It was... it is."  
  
"Do you... believe me when I say.... I'm sorry?"  
  
Hyungwon looked up at him as he thought, stroking his hair like he knew Hoseok liked it. If he was already in this position, he might as well enjoy it.  
  
"I do," he finally answered, staring into Hoseok's beautiful dark eyes. "I believe you are."  
  
"Could you ever forgive me?" he asked, his eyes sparking hope.  
  
Hyungwon shook his head. "I don't know." The hope died in Hoseok's eyes. "I don't think I ever could."  
  
Hoseok nodded, burying his face in Hyungwon's neck, breathing in his scent. "I love you, Hyungwon... I.. don't know what... was happening to me that night... I do love you, I fucked up so much... but I love you so much."  
  
Hyungwon closed his eyes, squeezing his eyes as tears fell from them. He believed him, he did. But it could never be the same between them. "I love you too, Hoseok," he whispered sadly. "I love you so much it hurts... I'm sorry... I can't..." He didn't want to talk about it anymore. He didn't want to think, he just wanted Hoseok to wrap his arms around him and make love to him one last time.  
Hoseok sighed, his body shaking.  
  
Hyungwon looked back up at him, his eyes filled with hurt and sadness. They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity until their lips were connected again. This time, their kiss was filled with heartbreak, betrayal, and love that would probably never fade. Hoseok's hips slowly started to rock into the younger once more, Hyungwon's body responding almost immediately. He rolled his small hips slowly, his long legs wrapping around Hoseok's waist as they made love for the last time.  
  
Hours later, they lay tangled together, their tired bodies curling in on one another. "I love you..." Hyungwon heard Hoseok whisper, pressing kisses on his neck.  
  
Hyungwon couldn't bare to hear the words again, his heart ached way too much to be humored by them. He didn't respond, only curled into himself and pulled his knees to his chest. Hoseok wrapped his arms around his middle, pulling him close as they fell into a comfortable sleep.

  
___

  
Hyungwon didn't expect to wake up with a blinding headache, nor did he expect Minhyuk to be the one to catch him in his current predicament. As soon as the blonde boy barged into the room, Hyungwon's heart jumped out of his throat. Suddenly, he felt more ashamed than he had ever felt in his life... he attributed it to the nerves, but he knew deep down it was something more than that.   
  
"HYUNGWON!" Minhyuk screamed, jerking the thin sheets of his body. "Hoseok, I'm going to fu-  
  
"Minhyuk," Hyungwon growled, sitting up and grabbing his clothes to slip them on.  
  
"He took advantage of you! You were drunk," Minhyuk spat. "As if he couldn't get more-"  
  
" _Minhyuk_ ," Hyungwon said, looking at him with only his pants on, pulling his sweater over his head. "I wasn't drunk. I was willing."  
  
"What the fuck?!" Minhyuk angrily exclaimed, his pale face red. "So what, you're gonna forget he fucked Kihyun?!" he yelled.  
  
Hyungwon sighed. "You don't understand--"  
  
"No! I get it, I fucking get it, loud and clear!" Minhyuk spat. "You're just gonna let him stomp on your heart again, because he's a fucking slu--"  
  
"Minhyuk!" Hyungwon yelled.  
  
"Fine, let him do it. I won't be there next time," Minhyuk snapped, slamming the door and stomping out the house. Hyungwon fucked up this time.  
  
"Fuck," Hyungwon cursed, his head pounding and his stomach growling in protest. "He probably woke the entire house up, too."  
  
Hoseok looked at him from the bed, his cheeks pink and a permanent frown on his face. "I'm sorry."   
  
Hyungwon shook his head. "I was willing," he said. "I'll see you around?" Hoseok replied with a nod and the taller turned to leave.  
  
"Hyungwon?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Hyungwon looked back, seeing Hoseok had started to cry. "I loved you too, Hoseok," he replied quietly, closing the door and silently leaving the house to find his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, when I wrote this I didn't want the story to be focused on the smut but... hah chapter 4 happened. you'll see when i post it ;) also I promise minhyuk will be in the next chapter more!!!! 
> 
> thank you all for reading so far and i hope you enjoy this part. as always, kudos and comments make me forever grateful 
> 
> u o u


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk receives advice from Dawon and Seokmin. HyungHyuk then have a night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings; mention of drugs and drinking.  
> featuring Dawon and Seokmin (again. what can I say? I love that kid.)

 

 **hyungwon[10:27am]** you idiot it's not like that.  
**hyungwon[10:35am]** where the fuck are you?  
**hyungwon[10:40am]** istg lee minhyuk stop acting so damn dramatic  
  
**minhyuk[10:54am]** hyungwon  
**minhyuk[10:54am]** i'm not an idiot  
**minhyuk[10:54am]** or dramatic  
**minhyuk[10:54am]** ok i fucking lied i am  
**minhyuk[10:55am]** its just  
**minhyuk[10:55am]** i dont want to see u hurt again  
  
**hyungwon[11:07am]** just come home please

Minhyuk ran his fingers through his hair angrily, looking up at the sky as snow started to fall around him. He sighed sadly, opening his mouth and closing his eyes. Hyungwon didn't understand. Yes, he was being dramatic as hell. He had reason to be.  
  
Every time he looked at Hyungwon his heart dropped in his stomach.  
Every time Hyungwon cried, it felt as if a knife was driving in his body.  
Every time he smiled, Minhyuk could almost feel his heart bursting with happiness.  
  
Hyungwon was the love of his life since he first met him, back when Hyungwon moved into the neighborhood. Minhyuk was a child then, a small eight year old who didn't understand the concept of romantic love. Hyungwon was seven, taller than him even at that age, with the same thin frame and thick lips. Minhyuk remembered seeing him from his own front yard and immediately went over to him, proclaiming their friendship. He remembered weeks later, he asked Hyungwon to marry him in a cute, eight-year-old way. _"We can share pudding cups, Hyungwonnie, and I'll always give you what I have in my lunchbox!"_ Hyungwon had giggled madly back then, thinking he was joking. He wasn't.  
  
He remembered the day Hyungwon came home with bruises on his neck and a goofy grin on his face. He remembered feeling his heart drop, but he put a huge smile on his face for Hyungwon. The younger boy was happy, so he should be too, right? He was his best friend.  
  
"I'm officially off the market," Hyungwon had announced proudly, plucking an orange from the fruit bowl on the counter and starting to peel it.  
  
"We can tell," Minhyuk muttered. Hyungwon had glared at him and the older replied with a big grin. If Hyungwon had bothered to pay attention, he would've known it was fake. "Who?"  
  
"Hoseok. Shin Hoseok?" Hyungwon suggested. Minhyuk noticed his eyes were still red from the weed he had probably smoked the night before.  
  
"Ah, yeah. Him," Minhyuk said, returning to his homework. Hyunwoo chuckled.  
  
"What?" Hyungwon had said, glaring at them.  
  
"Nothing, you just... don't seem to fit with Hoseok," Hyunwoo answered, chuckling again.  
  
"Fuck you all."  
  
Minhyuk laughed. "That sounds hot, but I don't think your new boyfriend would appreciate that."  
  
Minhyuk had smiled gently, though his heart was hurting that day, he couldn't help but feel happy for his best friend. Hyungwon was radiant, he was beautiful. He couldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face.  
  
Naturally, Minhyuk saw less and less of Hyungwon and when he did, Hoseok usually was trailing along. He couldn't help but hate the guy, but he put up a front for his best friend. He had this gut feeling that he was a complete jerk, but Hyunwoo would always say it was because Minhyuk was so infatuated with Hyungwon that he'd hate anyone that looked at the younger in that way.  
  
Too bad Minhyuk was right.  
  
He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. "Minhyuk?"  
  
Minhyuk turned to the source and smiled gently. His freshman classmates from his department, Dawon and Seokmin, sat on the bench beside him. "Waiting for the bus too?" asked Dawon, flipping her long, brown hair out of her eyes.  
  
"Huh? Oh no, I was just thinking."  
  
Seokmin smiled. "Of what?" he asked, sitting on his other side. "The debate of what the spring musical should be? I said it should be RENT but they're all saying The Wizard of Oz. Really, how many theater departments do you hear putting on The Wizard of Oz? Exactly, practically all of them. Besides I think you would make a good A--"  
  
"Seokmin, please shut up," Dawon said, rolling her eyes. Minhyuk laughed, throwing his head back. "Let someone else talk for once. You seem deep in thought, Hyukkie, tell us what's wrong."  
Minhyuk sighed, watching his breath form hot puffs and float away. "It's nothing."  
  
Seokmin smiled brightly. Minhyuk had always noticed the younger boy was similar to him, always a happy soul. Always putting others before himself, always wanting to make people laugh, loving deeply with all his heart. "Don't lie, Hyuk. You may be a theater major but we know when you're lying."  
  
Minhyuk sighed. "I just..."  
  
Dawon smiled. "You like someone, don't you?" Minhyuk looked at her incredulously. "It's Hyungwon, isn't it?" she laughed.  
  
"How do you know this?!"  
  
"Please, you're so obvious," she smiled, patting his knee. "I'm surprised the idiot hasn't figured it out himself."  
  
"Hey! He's not an idiot. I'm the idiot," Minhyuk said, playing with the strings from his scarf.  
  
"What's the problem then? He's single now, his heart deserves someone to heal it," Dawon said.  
  
"It's uh. It's a lot more complicated than that, Dawon."  
  
Dawon smiled. "Isn't it always?"  
  
Minhyuk sighed and looked at his phone. He hadn't responded to Hyungwon's last text and it stared at him, begging to replied to.  
  
"Minhyuk?" Seokmin said, startling the older male. "I just. I know he's your best friend but..." he sighed. "Listen, I confessed to my best friend and it was the best thing I ever did." He smiled brightly. "What I'm saying is... you can't will your feelings away. It doesn't work like that, but maybe.. you can put your feelings out there. He may surprise you. He may like you back. Either way, you'll feel a lot better to get it off your chest."  
  
Minhyuk looked at the younger male, surprised. Had Seokmin actually given him legit advice, and not the shit he usually spews? "Wow, Min, my man. You're growing up on me," he laughed. "Wait, who did yo-"  
  
"Look! The bus! See you later, Minhyuk!" Seokmin yelled, rushing to the stopped bus and inside. Dawon laughed.  
  
"See you soon, Minhyukkie," she winked as she followed the taller boy on the bus. "Good luck."

 **minhyuk[12:02pm]** im sorry. ill be home soon. :)  
  
____  
  
Hyungwon brushed his hair from his eyes and curled underneath the blankets in the living room, his eyes looking at the television but never focusing. He chewed on his bottom lip, unsure of what he felt and why the hell Minhyuk catching him with Hoseok made him so nervous. It was just a one time thing, he would tell him. A last moment together. It wasn't like he completely regretted what happened with Hoseok, in a way it hurt more than it helped him, but the devastated look that was plastered on Minhyuk's face haunted him.

Cold takeout was left on the coffee table in front of him, untouched and waiting for Minhyuk to join him. His phone lit up as he received another text message, making him jolt up to grab it from the table and retreat back into his comfortable blanket. He read it and rolled his eyes, throwing his phone to the other side of the couch and curling deeper into the blankets, waiting for his friend so he could explain himself. He felt relieved Minhyuk was okay.  
  
He must've fell asleep, because the next thing he knew Minhyuk had climbed underneath the blankets with him, leaning in between his legs against his chest as he watched television and ate the takeout. Hyungwon smiled happily, sliding his fingers through Minhyuk's blonde locks, seeing him turn to look at him with a shy smile.  
  
"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to bother you," Minhyuk said, feeding some of the noodles from the takeout. Hyungwon happily took it and chewed. "I wanted to apologize. I kind of overreacted back there."  
  
Hyungwon shook his head. "No, you kind of didn't," he admitted with a shy smile. "I mean, sure, you added your own dramatic flair to it, but you didn't. I would've reacted the same way honestly."  
  
Minhyuk blushed and shook his head.  
  
"I owe you an explanation," Hyungwon said, eating some more of the noodles Minhyuk fed him. "I didn't expect to see him there. When I saw him, I didn't expect sleeping with him... We got into a fight and well... we ended up in bed and... I mean, I wanted one last night with him, you know?" he sighed, Minhyuk was looking at him with those gentle, innocent eyes. "He knows he doesn't have a chance and honestly, I don't want to give it to him. I just... needed one last night with him. For closure, I guess. Now I can properly move on, I think."  
  
Minhyuk's ears perked up at that. "Really?"  
  
Hyungwon thought about it, looking at him and chewing on his bottom lip. "Maybe," he said softly. His heart still ached, so much sometimes he couldn't breath properly, but he felt as if it was slowly mending. He knew a part of him would always be broken, Hoseok was the love of his life, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  
  
Of course, Hyungwon knew he was just swallowing the thoughts in his mind in favor for something happier.  
  
Hyungwon knew his optimism wouldn't last long.  
  
Although, he didn't expect it to be so quick. After he and Minhyuk ate the food and watched a few movies, they both excused themselves to their respective rooms. Minhyuk murmured something about homework, Hyungwon just felt exhausted.  
  
He changed into a pair of loose sweatpants and a tank top, putting his earphones in and plugging them up to his phone. He pressed shuffle while sliding underneath his thick blankets and pulling them up to his chin, staring blankly at the wall. Soft melodies filled his ears as he closed his eyes, his heart suddenly heavy.

~  
  
He was reminded of the first time Hoseok told him he loved him. It was during the spring and cherry blossoms were growing on the trees, making a beautiful sea of pink around them. They walked the curvy path hand in hand, admiring the beauty of the season, until Hoseok stopped and pulled Hyungwon off the path, through a clearing of trees until they were alone. Away from prying eyes.  
  
Hyungwon looked at Hoseok, a couple of inches shorter than him, and smiled at him. "What's this all for?" he asked.  
  
He still remembered what Hoseok was wearing: white skinny jeans, a thin t-shirt tucked in them, and a soft light blue cardigan. His pale, white skin shown in the sun, contrasting with his dark brown hair and red, wet lips. He was gorgeous in every meaning of the word.  
  
Hoseok smiled a brilliant white smile, making Hyungwon feel weak at the knees. "I love you, Hyungwon."  
  
Hyungwon took in his bottom lip, his eyes growing wide at the sudden confession. "W-wha--"  
  
"I love you," Hoseok said confidently, his stare never wavering into the younger's eyes. "I love you so much."  
  
Hyungwon teared up, out of happiness. Hoseok actually loved him? "I love you too, Hoseok," he said, kissing him sweetly.

  
~

_When I dream, I think of you._  
_I try to erase you but it doesn't work that well._

  
Before he knows it, the song abruptly stops in his ears and arms are being wrapped around him. He didn't even know he was crying.  
  
"Hyungwon?" whispered a soft voice.  
  
"Minmoongie?" Hyungwon choked out, turning into his chest and burying his face into him. "I miss him so."  
  
Minhyuk's fingers slid in his hair and he held the younger, taller one close. "I know, Chaebogi," he said softly.  
  
Hyungwon sobbed, his small frame shaking. "Why does it hurt so much..."  
  
Minhyuk shifted a little, making himself more comfortable. "Because you loved him, Chaebogi," he said finally, pressing soft lips to his forehead. "You still love him. He was your first love."  
Silence fell on them both as Hyungwon cried silently into Minhyuk's chest.  
  
After his tears had dried up, he clung to Minhyuk's yellow shirt, his mouth slightly open and his eyes halfway closed. "Minmoongi?" he whispered.  
  
"Yeah, Chaebogi?" Minhyuk asked, looking down at the half-asleep man beside him.  
  
"Have you... had your heart broke?"  
  
Minhyuk thought, wiping Hyungwon's soft cheeks void of tear tracks. "Yeah," he whispered finally, but Hyungwon was already asleep. Only Hyungwon was the cause of his heartbreak. Call him cheesy, he was cheesy as hell, but he only felt sadness when Hyungwon was sad.  
  
He felt guilty this time, though. He prayed for this day ever since Hoseok glanced at Hyungwon the first time. He prayed everytime they had a stupid fight, breaking up in pure anger and throwing each other out of their houses. Hyungwon would come home with angry red eyes, or Hoseok would stomp out in a puff of anger. They'd always make up, they'd always get back together.  
Hoseok never fucked up this badly, though. He didn't think Hyungwon could get over this, but what had happened the night before scared him. Hyungwon made promises, but Hyungwon was more of an actions person, not a words. Sometimes his promises didn't mean much, sometimes they meant the world.  
  
Minhyuk was unsure if he believed him. Hoseok had his hooks in Hyungwon and he wasn't about to let go so easily.  
  
Minhyuk was detirmined to protect Hyungwon with everything in him, though. No matter what shit Hoseok would try to pull.  
  
The blonde's grip tightened on the taller's small frame, detirmination set in his jaw.  
  
_I love you, Chae Hyungwon._

* * *

 

Hyungwon huffed angrily as Minhyuk pulled him across the dog park, his humongous black dog running in front of them. The older boy had forced him outside again, this time walking his clumsy dog he affectionately named Meongi, short for Meongmeongi. Hyungwon remembered when Minhyuk had gotten the pup, a year into their college career. He had proudly shoved it in Hyungwon's arms, exclaiming its name and that they'd all share him.

"I don't want a dog!" Hyungwon had exclaimed angrily, holding him as if it was diseased as the puppy tried to lick his face.  
  
Minhyuk stared at him, his eyes wide and his bottom lip stuck out. "Meongi loves you, Hyungwon, come on."  
  
Hyungwon secretly loved the dog, he had to admit. He was wild and excitable like Minhyuk, yet he knew when you were upset. He'd always worm his way underneath the blankets, pressing his head on your ankles and curling next to your leg. A silent pillar, Hyungwon supposed.  
  
Meongi barked excitedly as Minhyuk threw a tennis ball into the park, running after it excitedly. "Aren't you ever scared he'll run off?" the taller asked, sitting on the grass.  
  
"Nah," Minhyuk smiled, sitting beside him and pressing his knee against the younger's. He beamed at him as Meongi run up to him, almost knocking the taller down as he tackled him. Hyungwon couldn't help but grin widely and throw the tennis ball again, leaning against Minhyuk as he watched the dog leap excitedly.  
  
"Are you okay, Chaebogi?" Minhyuk asked gently, his fingers lacing with the younger's. Hyungwon's heart leaped wildly in his chest. Weird.  
  
"I'm fine," he answered, squeezing Minhyuk's fingers. Day by day, life was getting better. It had been a couple days since the party incident with Hoseok and he could still feel the bruises on his collarbone from him. With time, they'd disappear. Hopefully his heart would mend, too.  
  
"Don't lie to me."  
  
Hyungwon looked at Minhyuk and smiled sadly. "I'll be fine, how's that?"  
  
Minhyuk threw the ball again when Meongi came back to them, looking away from the younger. "Rome wasn't built in a day, huh? Hey, why don't we go out tonight?"  
  
Hyungwon sighed, turning his face into Minhyuk's shoulder, his eyes closed. "I don't know..."  
  
Minhyuk squeezed his head again. "Come on, just you and me. I'll take you to the movies and out to eat," he suggested. "Or we can go walking by the river, you always liked that. Or the arcade."  
Hyungwon hummed in response, feeling Meongi's furry head nudge his free hand. The taller man looked at the dog, his big eyes peering at him with the tennis ball between his mouth. Hyungwon scratched his head affectionately and took the tennis ball, throwing it for him. Meongi stayed there, curling against Hyungwon's legs and laid his head in his lap.  
  
"Meongi wants you to go, too," Minhyuk laughed.  
  
Hyungwon sighed but smiled gently at the dog. "Fine, I'll go, but only if you're the only one. I don't think I can take Seokmin or Jooheon anymore."  
  
Minhyuk whined. "Jooheon is so cute though," he said playfully, smiling brightly at him.  
  
"Yeah, but if Jooheon goes then Changkyun follows him."  
  
"What's wrong with Kyunnie? You're the one that made out with him freshman year!"  
  
Hyungwon groaned. "Please don't mention that."  
  
Minhyuk giggled beside him and scratched Meongi's ears. "Fine. You and me," he smiled at Hyungwon.  
  
Hyungwon smiled back. That's all he ever asked for.

  
__

  
Minhyuk gasped when Hyungwon came into the living room. Hyunwoo whistled. "Hyungwon, woah."  
  
Hyungwon glared at them. Minhyuk had picked out his clothes, done his hair and makeup, and he looked ridiculous. He looked at himself in the mirror in the living room, rolling his eyes. He was wearing a pair of his black dark-wash jeans and a brown turtleneck sweater that clung to his thin frame. Minhyuk had made sure his brown hair was wavy and tousled, and carefully put on soft make up that made his wide eyes and plump lips pop.  
  
Okay, he didn't look bad. He just didn't feel like looking so good.  
  
Minhyuk grinned, wrapping his arms around Hyungwon's waist from behind and pressing his face against his arm. "You look so _fine_ , Chaebogi," he whistled, his eyes glittering. Minhyuk didn't look half bad, either, if Hyungwon was being honest with himself. Hyungwon stepped away, looking Minhyuk up and down: ripped jeans, a white t-shirt tucked underneath his belt, a flannel shirt draping his shoulders, black Converse, black choker around his neck.  
  
Hyungwon forgot to breath.  
  
"What?" Minhyuk asked, looking at him with his head cocked to the side.  
  
The taller shook his head. "I uh... you look really good."  
  
Minhyuk grinned, a pink tint appearing on his cheeks. "Thanks. Ready to go?"  
  
Hyungwon smiled, nodding. "Yeah."  
  
Hyunwoo was grinning knowingly from the couch, Meongi's huge body sprawled on his legs. "Don't get too wild now," he said. Meongi barked lazily in agreement.  
  
Soon they were walking down the street, buried in their thick jackets and warm scarfs. Minhyuk had his arm linked in Hyungwon's, grinning excitedly as they walked in the cool streets. "What do you want to do first?"  
  
Hyungwon scoffed. "I thought you had this night planned."  
  
Minhyuk looked at him sheepishly. "Well, sort of. Not really."  
  
Hyungwon laughed and rolled his eyes, his heart swelling at how beautiful Minhyuk looked with his pink cheeks and chapped lips. "You're ridiculous."  
  
"You love me for it."  
  
"True."  
  
They passed couples linked hand in hand. Hyungwon noticed the store fronts were dressed in pink and red, paper hearts taped to the glass. His heart froze. "It's Valentine's Day."  
  
Minhyuk frowned beside him. "Ah, yeah, it is, isn't it?"  
  
Hyungwon sighed, trying not to think of the last Valentine's Day he spent with Hoseok. He had given him a beautiful promise ring that Hyungwon carefully tucked in in his sock drawer. As upset as he was with Hoseok, he couldn't bare to throw away something that meant so much to him.  
  
Minhyuk seemed to pick up on his emotions and hugged him tightly. "I'll be your Valentine's date," he said proudly, his eyes sparkling. "We'll go to karaoke, and I'll take you out to a ramyeon bar--"  
  
Hyungwon sobbed. Hoseok loved ramyeon.  
  
"-oh wait, nevermind. We'll eat fried chicken! Yeah, chicken. Maybe we can go dancing afterward?"  
  
Hyungwon looked at Minhyuk. He was trying really hard. The taller smiled sadly at him. "Yes, that sounds perfect." Minhyuk smiled encouragingly. "Can we eat first, though? I'm starving."  
  
Minhyuk nodded and lead the way to a dingy, dirty fast food restaurant. It may've been dirty, but they both knew from experience that the food was worth it. Hyungwon's cheeks were poked out like a chipmunk as he ate crispy fried chicken and biscuits hungrily. Minhyuk laughed at him and poke said cheeks.  
  
The taller felt his cheeks turn pink when Minhyuk wiped grease from his lips, causing Minhyuk to grin and turn to look at his lap. Hyungwon coughed awkwardly. "Anyways."  
  
Minhyuk laughed and chewed on the remaining biscuit, looking up from his lap. His cheeks were pink, too, but his eyes sparkled excitedly. "Let's blow this popsicle stand," he said, grabbing Hyungwon's hand and dragging him out of the restaurant.  
  
"But Minhyuk the trash--"  
  
Minhyuk didn't listen, only dragging him down the street toward the karaoke place that they had frequently visited while drunk. They weren't drunk now, but the night was still young. They still had time.  
  
Hyungwon couldn't keep his eyes off of Minhyuk, if he was honest. His eyes kept sparkling and even when they drank so much they were stumbling, Minhyuk still clung to him as if he was going to float away. The older male just looked so good. They sang and danced happily and if Hyungwon had to admit, he forgot about Hoseok.  
  
Minhyuk clinging to him as if he was his lifeline helped a lot, too.  
  
They were stumbling into a club before Hyungwon knew it, the night passing by like a blur. Hyungwon felt Minhyuk's hands on him as they tripped to the middle of the dance floor, making his insides burn with something he had never felt toward Minhyuk. Or maybe he did, he can't really think straight right now.  
  
Especially when he and Minhyuk are grinding against each other and Minhyuk's fingers are pressed against his back, his lips near his neck.  
  
Hyungwon let himself dance with the older. He didn't know why, but it felt right. Probably the drinks... yeah, definitely the drinks. Minhyuk pressed his lips against his neck, breathing heavily in his ear, and he felt as if he was going to suffocate.  
  
_Oh shit._  
  
"Minhyuk..." Hyungwon breathed. "Can we go home now?"  
  
Minhyuk looked at him, his eyes black with alcohol or desire or whatever and nodded wordlessly, taking Hyungwon's hand and dragging him out of the club and into the street. Even there, Hyungwon felt tight, as if he was going to die by the hand of Minhyuk. He panted heavily, following Minhyuk as he rushed toward their apartment.  
  
Maneuvering  through the crowds of drunk friends and couples, they arrived to their building quickly. Hyungwon pushed through the door and clicked the button to the elevator, sliding his drunk arms around Minhyuk's shorter frame and hiding his face in his neck. "You're comfy."  
  
Minhyuk tensed slightly and took Hyungwon's hand as the elevator stopped on their floor. He pulled him toward their apartment. The taller clung to him, whining every time they had to step away from each other. Hyungwon was drunk and clingy as hell. He wanted to feel Minhyuk on every inch of his body.  
  
They made it inside, stumbling past the sofa that held a sleeping Hyunwoo, Meongi, and a curled up lump that had their head stuffed in Hyunwoo's neck.  
  
Hyunwoo had a girlfriend or boyfriend, it seemed. Hyungwon would have to tease him about it when he wasn't slammed and half-hard for his best friend.  
  
Hyungwon stumbled into his room, pulling Minhyuk in and closing the door. "Shouldn't I be going to my own bed?" Minhyuk mumbled. The taller pressed his finger against his lips. Minhyuk couldn't help but to kiss it.  
  
"Hush," the taller said, shedding his clothes and putting on a baggy shirt, crawling into his bed and under the blankets. "Sleep with me, Minhyukkie."  
  
Hyungwon closed his eyes and heard shuffling, followed by the bed shifting and feeling Minhyuk's warm body around him. The taller snaked his way into Minhyuk's grasp, hiding his face in older's neck. "Minhyukkie..." he murmured. "Minmoongi..." he breathed, ghosting his lips against his soft skin. His body burned for the older, and he'd be confused as hell in the morning.  
  
He felt Minhyuk tense underneath his body. "Hyungwon s-stop.."  
  
"I had fun..." he breathed, stopping his lips. Minhyuk must not like it. "Thank you..."  
  
Minhyuk clung to him tighter, as getting as close as they could with clothes on. "I had fun too..."  
  
"Minmoongi..." Hyungwon sighed tiredly, nuzzling his neck as if he could get even closer. Minhyuk smelled too delicious. "I love you..."  
  
Minhyuk sighed and held him, feeling Hyungwon relax in his grip. Hyungwon drifted to sleep slowly, not before hearing a soft "I love you too..."  
  
He didn't hear the rest though. He was dead to the world.  
  
" ....more than anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added half of this chapter in because we needed more HyungHyuk. The last half was supposed to be its own chapter but I added it to this one, so it's probably the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope you enjoyed. As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. How am I doing so far?
> 
> (I had to edit this twice! Damn shoddy internet)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon isn't as repaired as he thought he'd be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: sexual content
> 
> dont hate me :)

**minhyuk[1:26pm]** chaebogi!  
 **minhyuk[1:26pm]** where are you?  
 **minhyuk[1:26pm]** wanna get some coffee before ur next class?

  
**hyungwon[1:33pm]** minhyukkie...  
 **hyungwon[1:33pm]** my main man...  
 **hyungwon[1:33pm]** my beautiful minmoongie...  
 **hyungwon[1:34pm]** my sunshine, yes please,  
 **hyungwon[1:34pm]**  I desperately need coffee rn lol

  
**minhyuk[1:34pm]** :D  
 **minhyuk[1:35pm]** meet me in the cafe pls  
 **minhyuk[1:35pm]** i have ur fave :D  
 **minhyuk[1:38pm]** our usual spot ;)

Sliding his books in his bookbag and sliding it over his shoulder, Hyungwon started out of the library and down the path toward the student center that housed the cafe. It was dreary that day, the clouds forboding of the next snow storm about to come. The tall boy zipped up his jacket and covered his face under his sleeves, feeling the biting wind as it tore through campus.   
Hyungwon felt tired, which wasn't very unusual, but something was different. He marked midterms as the culprit, the last midterms of his college career, therefore his most important. Deep down, though, he knew that wasn't the only reason why.

  
It had been two months since Hoseok and he had broken up. In someways, life had gotten better since that day. In someways, it had gotten worse... Hyungwon found himself coping easier in the day, where he could busy himself with schoolwork, homework, his job at the library that only took two to four hours away from his day, and his (pretty much non-existent) social life.   
At night, he was left alone. Music rarely helped him anymore, the songs would always drift to something sad and he'd be lying in a crumpled mess. Sometimes Minhyuk would hear his sobs and come to his aid. Sometimes Minhyuk would be too exhausted to even be awoken.

  
Those days, he'd slip into Minhyuk's bed and cuddle in with him. Minhyuk would wrap his arms around him and Hyungwon would fall asleep next to him.  The only time Hyungwon felt peace was in Minhyuk's arms.

  
"Hyungwon! Over here!" Minhyuk said, flailing his arms best he could with two large coffees in his hand. Hyungwon instantly grinned, walking toward the table they usually sat at and slid in the seat beside him. Hyunwoo was sitting in front of them, reading a textbook with his hood up.

  
"Hey, Hyunwoo," Hyungwon said softly, sipping on his coffee slowly. Black, like his soul.

  
Hyunwoo looked up and smiled. "Hey, Hyungwon."

  
Minhyuk started to rattle on about his classes as Hyungwon paid half attention and scrolled through his phone. Some of Minhyuk's friends joined them eventually, Seokmin, Dawon, and a pretty girl he had never seen before. She said her name was Soobin, she had just transferred. Hm.

  
They all conversed, Hyunwoo and himself starting to feel a bit out of place around the rambunctious team around them. He peeled himself out from the corner in an excuse to go to the bathroom, grabbing his bag and disappearing. Minhyuk was close on his heels.

  
"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, furrowing his brows as he stopped the taller from going into the stall.

  
"Yeah, I just have to use the bathroom," Hyungwon lied. He had felt suffocated in the crowd. Minhyuk was loud, and being around his loud friends amplified that. Hyungwon couldn't take it.   
Minhyuk let him step inside and do his business. "Are you sure, Hyungwon? I mean... I saw you-know-who walk in--"

  
"What?" Hyungwon asked, poking his head out of the stall. "You're joking."

  
Minhyuk frowned. Hyungwon hadn't seen. "No, I thought that's why you stormed in here."

  
Hyungwon swallowed, feeling his heart drop into his stomach. He walked to the sink and washed his hands slowly, taking extra care in scrubbing his fingers clean. "You gonna be okay?" he heard Minhyuk say.

  
Hyungwon nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine," he said, drying his hands and looking at himself in the mirror. "God, I look like shit," he laughed sadly. His frail frame was clothed in tight leggings and a baggy hoodie underneath a long jacket. His face didn't look any different, just mirrored his sadness.

  
"No you don't," Minhyuk said with a bright, sunny smile, ruffling Hyungwon's hair playfully. "You look beautiful."

  
Hyungwon laughed. "You don't have to lie to me, Minhyuk," he said back. "Anyways... is it okay if I go home? I'll make you some dinner if you let me go now."

  
"What about your next class?"

  
"I... Don't feel well enough."

  
Minhyuk thought. "I'll go with you."

  
Hyungwon shook his head. "No, it's okay. I heard you talking, you need to go study with Jooheon and Hyunwoo for your project in psych. I'll make you some dinner and have it in the oven for when you get home."

  
"Are you sure?" Minhyuk asked apprehensively.

  
Hyungwon smiled and nodded. "Yeah, of course. Listen, I just need to be alone for a little while. That's all."

  
Minhyuk nodded and hugged him. "Okay, fine. I'll let you go home. Hyunwoo and I will be home around eleven, okay?"

  
Hyungwon nodded and hugged him back, pressing his face in the older's neck for a few moments, breathing in his scent that Hyungwon could swear smelled like sunflowers. They walked out and Hyungwon bid goodbye to the others before walking out the door.

  
Hyungwon didn't see Hoseok follow after him, but Minhyuk did. He started after them but Hyunwoo grabbed his wrist. "Let him fight his own battles, Minhyuk," he warned him.

  
__

  
Hyungwon had made it to his apartment building and walked into the elevator when he felt someone rushing in behind him. He sighed, pressing the button to his floor and turned around to see who would be with him.

  
He almost fainted. Hoseok. "What the fuck-"

  
"I miss you."

  
"Fuck you, Hoseok."

  
Hoseok frowned, running a hand through his black locks. "What happened..."

  
"I don't want to hear what you have to say. You fucking wrecked me. I thought I was okay, I thought I was fine but I'm not and it's because of you and your stupid dick that you can't keep out of your pants. It's because of your stupid smile and your stupid ears and the crinkle in your nose when you smile at me and fuck the way you make me feel."

  
Hyungwon didn't know he was crying until he caught a glimpse of himself as the elevator doors were opening. He pushed Hoseok away from him and rushed out, almost falling once he reached his door and opened it. He felt Hoseok's hand on his hips, turning him around and crashing into his lips in a passionate kiss.

  
Hyungwon gasped but didn't push away, gripping Hoseok's shirt tightly as he angrily kissed him. His teeth bit at Hoseok's bottom lip, breaking skin and causing him to bleed slightly. Hyungwon didn't care, his tongue darted inside Hoseok's mouth. Hoseok moaned, pushing him inside and kicking the door closed, pushing Hyungwon into the door and lifting him off the floor.  
"Fuck you," Hyungwon muttered, wrapping his long legs against his waist and taking off Hoseok's shirt. Hoseok did the same to him, both throwing their discarded shirts in the floor and continuing their assault on each other's mouths.

  
Hyungwon pushed Hoseok off of him, panting heavily as his feet laid on the floor again. "You know I hate you so much, right?" he said angrily, gripping his belt and pulling him down the hallway. "I fucking hate you, so goddamn much," he muttered, popping the buttons off his jeans.

  
"I hate me too."

  
Hyungwon looked at him, unzipping his pants and shoving them down the older's ankles. Hoseok looked so vulnerable, almost like he was experiencing the same feeling Hyungwon was feeling. Except guilt, his eyes looked like he was eaten up with pure guilt. Hyungwon shook his head, unwilling to dive into it any more.

  
"Just fuck me into oblivion, Hoseok," he muttered angrily, his lips pressing against the older once more. Hoseok stepped out of his jeans and pushed Hyungwon against the wall once more, shoving his pants down as well and throwing them in the pile next to his own. The older male started to attack the younger, his lips pressing on his neck and sucking hungrily on the soft skin there.  
Hyungwon groaned, his fingers running down Hoseok's chest, feeling his abs and pressing against his clothed length, already half hard. The younger gasped slightly as Hoseok bit at the bend of his neck, moaning softly as he felt his tongue lick the bite mark. "Fucking s-shit.." he muttered, pushing Hoseok into his room and slamming the door, making sure to lock it as he slid down to his knees.

  
He jerked Hoseok's boxers down in a swift movement and bit his lip as his cock swung into full view. He dropped to his knees. "Damn, I fucking hate you, but I fucking love your cock," he muttered, gripping the older's dick in his hand and pressed his tongue against the side, locking eyes with him as he licked from the bottom to the top. Hoseok shuttered as the younger's mouth took him, throwing his head back in pleasure. Seeing Hyungwon's plump lips around his dick again made him go insane.

  
"Fuck, Hyungwon," he muttered, sliding his fingers in Hyungwon's hair and tugging roughly. Hyungwon's tongue slid over his slit before starting to bob his head, taking all of him that he could. He was lost in the feeling, lost in Hoseok moaning his name again. He wanted Hoseok to know how much he fucked up. He wanted Hoseok to scream his name the next time he fucked someone else. He kept going until he felt Hoseok's salty, bitter precum leaking into his mouth, until Hoseok's entire body shuttered, until he had to push the younger off his cock before he came then and there.  
Hyungwon fell on his ass, smirking up at Hoseok with heavily lidded eyes. Damn, he was going to regret this in the morning. Yet, seeing Hoseok above him with fire in his eyes and his cock standing ready at attention turned him on so badly. Even now, even after months of being apart and after fucking God-knows-who, Hyungwon was still able to turn Hoseok on even more than anyone else.   
Hoseok lifted him off the floor, gripping his arm as he threw him on the bed. "You want it rough, huh?" he growled in his ear, taking off Hyungwon's pants and underwear in one movement. "I'll give you what you want tonight, Hyungwon."

  
Hyungwon gasped as the older flipped him, shoving his face in his pillows and his ass in the air. He heard Hoseok rummage through his bedside drawer until he found what he wanted, a bottle of lube, and grunted in annoyance when Hoseok was taking too long.

  
"Patience," Hoseok replied with a slight chuckle. Hyungwon moaned as he felt the older's slick digit slide inside him, gripping the sheets as the older curled his finger just right.

  
"Fuck, Hoseok, please, fucking shit," Hyungwon groaned, and Hoseok obeyed with a second finger, his fingers moving in him roughly. A third was added, and Hyungwon was a moaning mess, moving his hips on Hoseok's fingers hungrily.

  
Hoseok chuckled, pulling his fingers out and lubbing himself up. Hyungwon reached around, sliding his fingers inside himself and whining hungrily. He hadn't went this long without sex in forever. The most was a week, with Hoseok being his boyfriend and Hoseok was a horny little bastard. Apparently, so was he.

  
"Hoseok put your fucking dick inside me," Hyungwon growled angrily. He heard Hoseok chuckle.

"Just enjoying the view," he muttered, withdrawing Hyungwon's fingers and replacing them with the tip of his cock.

  
Hyungwon gasped and gripped the sheets, moaning loudly as Hoseok slowly slid inside him. "Oh my g-god," he moaned into the pillows. He couldn't lie, he missed Hoseok's dick. He missed Hoseok more, but he'd rather not think about that right now.

  
Hoseok was slow at first, he always started slow, but gradually started to quicken his hips. He gripped the younger's hips tightly, so tight that Hyungwon figured he'd have bruises the next day, as he rammed into him. The younger boy moaned heavily, enjoying the feelings Hoseok was giving him and relishing in the sounds their bodies were making.

  
"Damn," Hoseok breathed out as Hyungwon started to lazily stroke his own cock, thrusting getting harder and faster. The bed started to shake violently, the sounds of skin slapping and Hyungwon's needy little moans filling the room.

  
"Fuck me harder, please, faster," pleaded Hyungwon. Somehow, Hoseok obeyed, leaning over the younger's back to suck bruises on his shoulder as he fucked him relentlessly.   
Hyungwon felt himself unraveling, felt himself crying out in pleasure as Hoseok started to pump his cock in time with the rough beating his ass was taking.

  
"I'm g-gonna--" Hyungwon started.

  
"Do it, then," Hoseok growled, biting his earlobe and fucking him harder. Hyungwon came at those words, at his actions, screaming Hoseok's name into his pillow. Hoseok moaned roughly in his ear as he came in one more powerful thrust, exploding inside the younger boy. "Fu-fuck..." he panted, kissing down Hyungwon's back and pulling out slowly. Hyungwon collapsed in his own filth, something he'd definitely regret later, and turned around, pulling Hoseok down in an angry, passionate kiss.

  
"I fucking hate you," he breathed in his mouth, his long leg wrapping around Hoseok and pushing him down on him.

  
"You should," Hoseok muttered, giving into the angry kiss as they both came down from their highs.

  
Their kisses slowed, their minds heavy. Hyungwon's tongue lazily ghosted in Hoseok's mouth, tasting every bit of him that he missed. "What'd we fucking do," he breathed, not really a question but more of a statement, his lips trailing down Hoseok's jaw and neck.

  
"I don't know," Hoseok panted. "We fucked. Again."

  
Hyungwon groaned, sucking a bruise against Hoseok's pale skin. When he was satisfied, he pulled away from the older and pushed him off. "Get out," he muttered angrily. Hoseok looked at him in disbelief. Hyungwon tore the bedsheets off and threw them in a pile. "Get out!" he yelled.

  
Hoseok jumped and rushed to gather his clothes, cleaning himself off quickly and putting them on. "Hyungwon--"

  
"Hoseok. Get the fuck out of my house. Now," Hyungwon said, shoving Hoseok's jacket in his arms and pushing him out of the door.

  
Hyungwon cleaned up their mess, throwing his clothes and bedsheets in the hamper and redressing his bed. He stepped into the scalding hot shower, wanting to wash away whatever Hoseok touched. He regretted everything, and yet... he didn't. Hyungwon was addicted to Hoseok and he... didn't know why, but he wanted more. He didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, no, that ship had sailed as soon as he stuck his dick into Kihyun. Yet he couldn't be around Hoseok without feeling the love he once found.

  
Maybe he didn't know what he wanted.

  
Hyungwon found himself crying on the bathroom floor thirty minutes later. He had managed to put on his underwear and long, baggy shirt on before crumpling to the floor.

  
__

  
Minhyuk found him at eleven fifteen, asleep on the cool ground. The blonde had Hyunwoo lay him in his bed, since he knew he himself couldn't lift him up and carry him. He tucked him in, brushing his brown locks out of his eyes as he sat beside him.

  
Hyunwoo stated that he would be making some food for them and left, leaving him and Hyungwon alone. He sighed softly. "Hyungwonnie, what have you done to yourself?"

  
Hyungwon stirred, he hadn't heard what Minhyuk had said but he felt his presence. "Minmoongi?" he murmured, his voice deep and raspy from sleep.

  
"Yeah, Chaebogi?"

  
"I'm sorry I didn't make you dinner..." he murmured.

  
Minhyuk chuckled softly, rubbing his cheek. "It's okay, Wonnie," he replied. "Hyunwoo is making us food right now. Do you want to join?"

  
Hyungwon took a while to reply. "I'm not hungry."

  
Minhyuk nodded, running his fingers down Hyungwon's thin arms and sliding them in the younger's hand. "Okay, I'll leave you some for when you are."

  
Hyungwon fell silent. Minhyuk almost thought he had fell back asleep.

  
"Minmoongi?"

  
"Chaebogi?"

  
"Will you stay here with me..."

  
Minhyuk bit his lip. "Yes, of course. I'll go eat, Chaebogi, and I'll be back."

  
"Promise?"

  
"I promise."

  
Hyungwon sighed and nodded, turning around to face the wall. Minhyuk sighed and kissed his cheek. He stood up and walked out the room.

  
"Chaebogi?" he asked as he got to the doorway.

  
No response.

  
"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleaseeeee don't hate me. don't hate hyungwon either. he's addicted ^^;
> 
> the story has one more chapter and everything will be wrapped up. i wish I could add more but I'm not sure what I could do. ^^; don't worry, things will end on a happy note. ;)
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are appreciated. Please tell me what you think!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon continues to break his own heart, and minhyuk finds out. the younger male finds something out about himself along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings;  
> sexual content ahead!!!!

**wonho[8:17pm]** hey  
**wonho[8:17pm]** wyd

  
**hyungwon[8:20pm]**  ....

  
**wonho[8:23pm]** come over  
**wonho[8:23pm]** i need u

  
**hyungwon[8:25pm]** be there soon

Hyungwon didn't mean for it to be this way, really. After their last meeting, he had every intention of avoiding Hoseok for the rest of his life. After three days, the met again. Two days after that, they met again. It went on and on and on until Hyungwon lost count.  
  
Hyungwon felt his heart restrict every time he left Hoseok's side. He knew this wasn't good for them, he knew it wasn't good for him, yet he couldn't stop himself. He hated Hoseok so much, but he loved him in the same breath.  
  
_"Just date me again, Hyungwonnie, just be mine,"_ Hoseok had whispered in his ear after their third meeting, his fingers sliding up and down Hyungwon's thin frame. Hyungwon pursed his lips and rolled off his bed, quickly dressing and leaving Hoseok without another word.  
  
He wanted so badly to accept Hoseok's proposal, but he knew he'd end up more broken than he already was.  
  
If that was possible.  
  
_

  
Hyungwon opened his mouth, his eyes rolling as pleasure coursed through his veins. He looked down below him. Underneath the white sheet draped over his body, moved Hoseok's head on his cock. He gasped, gripping the sheets as he felt Hoseok lift him off the bed, licking at his entrance hungrily.  
  
"Fuck, H-Hoseok d-"  
  
"Shut up," Hoseok replied, his tongue probing the younger's hole.  
  
Hyungwon let out another loud moan, gripping the sheets near his thigh as Hoseok pleasured him. He heard his text message ring tone go off on the coffee table near his body. He arched his back as Hoseok pressed his tongue deeper, panting heavily. "Fucking shit, Hoseok..." he whined.  
  
Hoseok removed his tongue, continuing his mouth on his cock as his fingers roughly entered the younger. Hyungwon heard his phone go off again, and again.  
  
Then it rang.  
  
Hoseok smirked, humming on Hyungwon's cock hungrily. "Answer it," he said roughly, the younger feeling the older's tongue run up the length of his cock, pressing hard on a pronounced vein.  
  
Hyungwon moaned in protest, shoving the lump that was Hoseok's head with his hand, causing him to take him even deeper. "Answer it," Hoseok gagged, curling his fingers that still pumped inside him.  
  
Hyungwon fumbled to grab his phone, letting out a loud mewl before answering it. "H-Hello?" he asked, his voice strained.  
  
"Oh my god, Hyungwon, why the fuck won't you answer me?!" Minhyuk's voice called, raspy with anger.  
  
Hyungwon bit his lip to surpress a moan as Hoseok's teeth lightly scraped his dick. "S-sorry, I'm a little busy right n-now."  
  
"With what?!" Minhyuk asked angrily.  
  
Hyungwon's eyes went open, unsure of how to answer. Hoseok entered three fingers inside him, curling until they were jamming against his prostate roughly. Hyungwon let out a pleasured gasp, choking on his words.  
  
"Hyungwon?" he heard Minhyuk's voice, laced with worry.  
  
"I'm f-fine, Minhyuk," he answered, tugging at Hoseok's hair from underneath the blankets. "I just... studying was ta-taking a toll on me so I went out for a run."  
  
"A... run?" Minhyuk asked. Yeah, that was very unbelievable. Hyungwon would rather eat hot coals then run.  
  
"W-Well I thought I was going to..." Hyungwon gasped, arching his back as Hoseok worked on him. "But I s-saw this really good place to eat, so I stopped there. Ate a ton of food n-now I'm on my way back to the library to finish."  
  
Minhyuk went silent, and Hyungwon was going crazy.  
  
"Well... come home soon, please?" he said softly, his gentle, worried voice making Hyungwon regret every thing he was doing now. Hyungwon chewed on his bottom lip.  
  
"I will, Minmoongi, I promise," he replied.  
  
"I love you, Chaebogi." Minhyuk always said those words when he thought Hyungwon was having an especially rough time. He didn't know how deep the words meant to Minhyuk.  
  
"Love you too."  
  
Hyungwon hung up the phone and threw it on the floor, tugging Hoseok's hair roughly until he was on top of him, claiming his lips as he entered him and fucked him into oblivion. Hyungwon knew he was just making it worse on himself. He knew Minhyuk would be hurt if he ever found out, yet he kept going back to Hoseok each night.  
  
He was addicted.  
  
He was destroying everything else he loved.  
  
Right now, in the boy he used to loved's arms, he didn't care. In this moment, Hoseok was rhythmically fucking him until his mind was mush and that's all he really cared about. The way Hoseok's hands felt on him, the way his dick pounded just right into his prostate, the way his lips kissed his own as if the world was ending.  
  
He felt... good enough.  
  
He didn't know he was good enough for Minhyuk.  
  
He didn't know Minhyuk was good enough for him, too.  
  
____

  
Hyungwon moaned loudly as Hoseok shoved him against the counter, yelping in pain as his back collided with the edge. His yelps were quickly replaced by moans as Hoseok shoved himself deep inside of him. Hyungwon gripped the back of the older, scratching down his back as his moans turned into hearty screams.  
  
Another week had passed and Hyungwon had found himself in Hoseok's grasp more than he wanted to admit. At least once a day they were meeting in Hoseok's apartment, his apartment, or a dirty bathroom in a shady looking restaurant. Hyungwon couldn't stop.  
  
His scream in pleasure was stopped mid-sentence when he heard the front door open, in direct sight of what they were doing.  
  
" _Hyungwon_?!"  
  
Hyungwon jerked his eyes up and stared in horror as Minhyuk stood, dropping the bags of chicken take-out he had brought for the younger boy. "I thought you were sick," he said bitterly. Minhyuk's face turned from surprise to hurt and disgust; Hyungwon didn't know which was more evident.  
  
Hyungwon pushed Hoseok off of him, grabbing something to cover himself. "Minhyuk, I--"  
  
"Save it, Hyungwon."  
  
Minhyuk looked at the taller, his eyes glistening with tears. He noticed he had just dyed his hair back black, causing his soft face to mature. The younger tried to stop him as he turned to leave, grabbing his wrist in a desperate plea to explain himself. The other male jerked his wrist back, walking out and slamming the door.  
  
Hyungwon fucked up.  
  
He stood there staring at the door for what seemed like an eternity, unsure of what to do. He felt Hoseok's arms snake around his thin body, kissing his shoulder slowly. "Does this mean we can get back together?" he asked as his lips made a trail to his neck.  
  
The younger turned around and pushed him off angrily, his wide eyes glistening with tears. "Fuck no! Is that what your plan is?! Fuck me until I give up and give into you?!" he yelled, pushing him further away from him. "So you can use me and break my damn heart over and over _and over_ again?!"  
  
"N-no--" Hoseok started, his eyes wide in confusion. "I thought that was what you wanted."  
  
Hyungwon laughed maniacally. "No, Hoseok. I've been over your love," he snapped. "You threw away what we had the moment your dick touched someone else."  
  
Hoseok blinked, his tears stinging his eyes. "So I've just been a pawn? Someone to fuck?"  
  
Hyungwon slid on his baggy, white shirt. "I guess you fucking have, Hoseok!" he yelled. He knew himself he wasn't telling the truth. He knew he was just giving into Hoseok because he missed him, he missed him so damn much and it was so hard to let go. He never was one to let go easily. "I loved you, I fucking loved you and you made me feel as if I wasn't good enough. I wanted to feel good enough again, I was fucking addicted to making you want me again."  
  
Hoseok breathed in sharply. "But you don't want anything else to do with me."  
  
"None."  
  
Hoseok's tears spilled on his cheeks as he started to get dressed again. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"  
  
"More than the breath in your lungs."  
  
"I know I don't deserve much but..." Hoseok paused and looked at him. "Why must I be punished this much?"  
  
Hyungwon chuckled angrily. In all honesty, he didn't know how to respond. Why did Hoseok's feelings deserve to be played with? Why couldn't Hyungwon just let it go, let him go, and let him live his life without the younger in the picture? Why didn't Hyungwon just move on?  
  
Hoseok finished getting dressed, tears still escaping from his eyes. "Don't ever contact me. I won't be your booty call anymore."  
  
"Didn't plan on it," Hyungwon replied, crossing his arms across his stomach.  
  
Hoseok turned to Hyungwon, hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I love you."  
  
The younger didn't respond, angry tears falling on his cheeks as he stared at Hoseok. The older male left, closing the door behind him, leaving Hyungwon staring after him.  
  
He never felt so alone.  
  
___

  
He couldn't find Minhyuk. He wasn't at the cafe, he wasn't in the library, he even looked in the theater department for him.  
  
"Try the park across the street," Seokmin said worriedly. "He usually goes there when he's stressed."  
  
That's how Hyungwon ended up on the swings, swinging sadly as the cool wind blew through his brown locks, Minhyuk no where to be found. His head rested on the chain as he looked absently in front of himself. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to him. He didn't even know why he felt so awful about it all.  
  
He felt a body sit beside of him. He was wearing black, from head to toe, his black hair shining in the spring sun. It didn't look like the cute little boy he met years and years ago. Minhyuk looked mature and intimidating, but no matter how upset he was his eyes sparkled with love and innocence.

  
"Minhyuk," Hyungwon said, extending his hand toward the older. The other winced and took it away, letting it fall on his lap. Hyungwon frowned. "I'm sorry."

  
Minhyuk didn't answer for a few minutes, staring at his hands in his lap. "You don't even know what you're sorry for," he answered, laughing weakly.

  
Hyungwon chewed on his bottom lip. He was right. He wasn't sure why he felt so guilty and upset at his actions toward Minhyuk. He snaked his hand in Minhyuk's lap and clasped his hand.

  
"I've let you down," he answered now as their fingers locked together. "You're like... the most important person in my life. And I've been so destructive... I'm ruining myself."

  
Minhyuk squeezed Hyungwon's hand and played with his long fingers. "That's one thing," he whispered.

  
They stayed in silence for a few moments, letting the cool spring wind push them gently on the swings. Hyungwon stared at Minhyuk, Minhyuk stared at their hands.

  
"I love you, Hyungwon," Minhyuk finally said, piercing the silence.

  
"I love you t--"

  
"No, Hyungwon, I _love_ you," Minhyuk interrupted, looking at Hyungwon with swimming dark eyes. "I've loved you since... since we were kids. God, when you smile my heart drops. I want nothing more to hold you and kiss your pain away or make you breathless but apparently _he_ is the only one that can do that."

  
Hyungwon felt like the air was sucked out of him. Minhyuk... what?

  
"You're too blind to see, though, really," Minhyuk chuckled sadly, looking back down at his lap. "I'd do anything for you and you're just worried about _him_."

  
"That's not--"

  
"I mean, I don't blame you," Minhyuk interrupted again. "Hoseok is really sexy. When he was good, he was good to you." He sighed. "Maybe you should just be with him."

  
Hyungwon's eyes went wide. "Minhyuk."

  
"No, I'm serious. You can't help who you love, you know? I had this silly thought that maybe you'd love me too, maybe my actions were obvious and maybe you had feelings for me too, but that was just me being an idiot."

  
Hyungwon looked at Minhyuk. He was the personification of the sun: warm and golden and beautiful. He loved with all of his heart and even when it was broke he made sure not to show it in favor for others. He was the best person Hyungwon ever knew and... his smile melted his heart.

  
He understood now, all of the warm feelings that he had when Minhyuk was near. How his belly flipped when he smiled, how he didn't mind if Minhyuk climbed on his lap and cuddled him ( _he actually liked it_ ).

  
"What Hoseok did was awful but maybe he's learned," continued Minhyuk, "maybe he's changed and maybe he'll only look at y--"

  
Hyungwon had gotten up, standing in front of Minhyuk. The male looked up at him, his eyes brimming with tears. Hyungwon bent down, pressing his lips gently against the older's, and Minhyuk replied with a surprised gasp. The taller deepened the kiss, his fingers sliding on the back of the older's head to keep him there. Tongues and teeth clashed as Minhyuk took control, showing Hyungwon just how much he wanted him.

  
Hyungwon pulled away slowly, looking deep into Minhyuk's eyes. "I don't want Hoseok," he whispered. "I don't know... I don't think I'm ready for... whatever we have but... please, don't give up on me," he pleaded, his eyes sprouting tears again. "You're my sun. I won't screw up again with Hoseok... I'm so sorry, I c-can't... please forgive me. "

  
Minhyuk looked at him, pursing his lips. "I can't. Not right now."

  
Hyungwon felt like his existence ceased. He felt as if the ground ripped a hole underneath his feet, making him fall deeper and deeper into blackness. His heart broke again, for the umpteenth time, but for different reasons. Minhyuk was all he never knew he wanted, and losing him now was.... heart wrenching.

  
"I'm sorry, Hyungwon," he heard Minhyuk's voice, making him float back into reality. He stared into the eyes of the black haired male in front of him, filled to the brim with unshed tears. "You're all I ever wanted but..." he paused, his voice getting shaky, "but I can't forgive you right now."

  
Hyungwon opened his mouth to plead, beg, his mind filled with excuses and promises to be better, yet he couldn't speak them. Minhyuk pulled away from their embrace, sliding his fingers over the taller's cheeks. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his thumb rubbing his cheek in a gentle circle. "My heart is too broke right now to forgive you."

  
Hyungwon sobbed, his eyes overflowing with tears. "Minhyuk--" Minhyuk replied with a shake of the head, smiling sadly at him.

  
"We'll be okay," he whispered. "Maybe. Let's just go back to how things were for right now, okay?"

  
Hyungwon closed his eyes, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. He didn't think that could happen, but he'd try. "Go home, okay? Hyunwoo will take care of you for now."

  
"But--"

  
"I'll be fine."

  
Hyungwon opened his eyes, seeing the shorter had started to silently cry. He wiped his tears with his thumb and Minhyuk pulled him closer, giving him a chaste kiss. The shorter gave his cheek another swipe with his thumb, turning around and walking away.

  
"Minhyuk!!" Hyungwon cried out. The older didn't respond, he only kept going. Hyungwon was left alone again.

  
_

  
The tall male had made it home. He threw his things into the closet and scratched Meongi's ears as he came up to him, sniffing him excitedly. Hyunwoo came into view, a confused look on his face. "Hyungwon? Are you okay? Minhyuk texted--"

"I'm fine," Hyungwon answered, pushing into the kitchen and grabbing a drink from the fridge.

  
"He said to take care of you, and he wouldn't be home for a couple days?" the older followed him into the kitchen, posing his sentence like a question. Hyungwon didn't know how to answer that.

  
Hyungwon looked at Hyunwoo, gulping the water and wiping his mouth. "I don't need to be taken care of. I'll be fine, Hyunwoo."

  
Hyungwon could see the older male hesitate before bringing him into a hug. His head collided into a large, muscular chest as the older awkwardly hugged him. Hyungwon sighed, breathing in deeply and letting the older hug him, smelling his musk cologne and a soft note of vanilla.

  
"I dunno what's going on but I'm here for you, okay?" Hyunwoo said as the taller pulled away. Hyungwon nodded slowly, pushing his brown locks out of his eyes.

  
"I know, Hyunwoo," he replied. "I just need to learn how to take care of myself is all."

  
Hyunwoo nodded slowly. "If I find out you're hurting and not letting me help you, I'll kill you," he deadpanned. Hyungwon couldn't help but smile, nodding slowly and drinking the rest of his water.

"Take Meongi with you to bed."

  
"I'll keep that in mind, thank you," he said, throwing the bottle away on his way out, the black dog following his footsteps.

  
As Hyungwon got ready for bed, he thought back on the past few months. Maybe he gave too many excuses for his broken heart. Maybe he turned into an awful person, relying on both Hoseok and Minhyuk to make him feel loved and wanted. His feelings for Hoseok had faded into his own greedy obsession. He played Hoseok the way Hoseok had played him, only worse.

  
Maybe Hoseok did cheat on him, but maybe Hoseok didn't deserve the way Hyungwon treated him. Using him as a pawn to get what he wanted and throwing him away when the moment was over. Hoseok had a beautiful heart, if he was honest with himself, and maybe Hyungwon played that to his advantage.

  
The tall male slid underneath his blankets and allowed the big dog to snuggle close to him, pressing his head against his chest. He started to scratch his ears as he thought. Perhaps he treated Minhyuk in the same light. He used the older's clinginess and adoration for him to his advantage, letting him comfort him in his darkest moments. That was probably the reason for him falling in love with the older, but he still felt guilty. Minhyuk was the purest soul in this world, yet he used him like a wash rag and threw him away.

  
Hyungwon sighed and snuggled into Meongi's warmth, pressing his face into his dark fur. Despite having so many thoughts and worries running through his mind, he fell asleep quickly. Nightmares ravished his dreams, even though he had Meongi's comforting warmth beside him, it wasn't the same.

  
He missed his Minmoongi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied last chapter! if you haven't noticed, I added another chapter because I felt this one ended too abruptly. so, i've written one more and I'm super excited. i feel like it wraps it all up perfectly. i guess? 
> 
> anyways, I hope you enjoyed and please tell me what you think!!! this chapter isn't too rushed, is it? :/


	6. Chapter 6

**hyungwon[4:50pm]** minhyuk...  
**hyungwon[4:50pm** ] i haven't seen you in a week...  
**hyungwon[4:50pm]** please we need to talk.  
**hyungwon[6:03pm** ] i miss you so much  
**hyungwon[6:03pm** ] i love you.

Minhyuk sighed and threw his phone on the couch beside him. He had been staying with his friends Jooheon and Changkyun in their dorm on campus for the past week, trying to get away from Hyungwon. Trying to clear his head. Changkyun called him an idiot. Maybe he was, maybe he was an idiot for turning away a moment he had only dreamed about. He couldn't help it, honestly. Hyungwon had quite literally been his world, and he had the audacity to fuck around with someone that broke his heart. He was working so hard to help him, yet he played his heart like a violin.

Hyungwon was still his heart, his soul, his world.

He only knows this because he sought comfort in another, trying to will his feelings away. To forget Hyungwon. Yet when the boy named Changgu covered his body in marks that would go away days later, he found himself moaning Hyungwon's name.

He couldn't escape him if he tried.

"Yah, why don't you just go talk to him, you idiot," Changkyun said, smacking him in the head with one of his thick textbooks. Minhyuk yelped and glared at the younger, rubbing his head.

"It's not that simple."

"What is? You still love him, right? He loves you, too, you should see him moping around campus," Jooheon joined in, sitting beside him on the sofa and picking his phone up. "And he's _texting_ you too!"

Minhyuk groaned. "He--"

"Fucked up, plain and simple," Changkyun interjected. "Can't you give him a chance?"

Minhyuk sighed and looked at the two males, his eyes softening. He hadn't been himself the entire week, always snapping at them, yet they always gave him gentle smiles and kind advice in return. "Not right now, Kyunnie."

Changkyun groaned. "At least go home. Try to talk to him."

"It wouldn't hurt," Jooheon added. "Explain to him why you're feeling this way."

Minhyuk buried his head in his hands. "I don't even know why I'm feeling this way."

"Tell him then. Just go home, they need you there."  
__

  
Minhyuk dropped his dufflebag on the floor. "I'm home!" he called, wiping the sweat off his brow. It was a warm night for early spring and the entire walk home caused him to break into a sweat.

Hyunwoo poked his head out of the kitchen. "Minhyuk! I didn't expect you to be in. I'm just making some ramen, wanna join?"

Minhyuk smiled, taking his light jacket off and shoes, walking into the kitchen and sighing. "Where's Hyun-- Meongi?" he asked, noticing the dog hadn't come to greet him when he came inside.

"Hm?" Hyunwoo asked, busy with stirring the ramen on the stove. "Oh, Hyungwon took him out for a walk. Said he needed some fresh air and so did Meongi."

"Ah," Minhyuk replied.

"We missed you," Hyunwoo said, handing him a steaming bowl with a smile. "Especially Meongi and Hyungwon."

Minhyuk stiffed as he watched the steam roll off the ramen. He sat down at the small table and started to eat slowly.

Hyunwoo hesitantly sat beside him. "They should be back soon. They left about an hour ago."

Minhyuk replied with a nod and continued to eat, setting the bowl in the sink once he was finished. "I'm going to put my clothes in the wash," he told Hyunwoo, ruffling the short hair on his head. "Thanks for the food."

Hyunwoo smiled, waving him off. In reality, he needed an excuse to not be around when Hyungwon walked in. He wasn't ready to talk to him, not yet. He grabbed his dufflebag and disappeared into the laundry room, dumping all of his clothes from the week and turning on the washer, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall.

He had put the clothes in the dryer when Hyunwoo tripped into the room, his phone in his hands. The male looked pale and shocked, as if someone had slapped him. The younger knew something was wrong. "What is it?"

"Minhyuk, it's Hyungwon--"

Minhyuk felt his world crumble again. His stomach bottomed out and his knees almost buckled. He grabbed the dryer for leverage. "He's been in an accident, oh God, Minhyuk we need to go to the hospital."

___

  
_"I don't know how but we were in the same park, oh my god, I'm so glad I got ahold of you, Minhyuk, I have your dog! I'll take care of him, okay? I tried calling you like five other times but Hyunwoo said you left your phone in the living room. Are you going to the hospital? Soonyoung and I was walking in the park because it was really nice outside and we saw Hyungwon, but he seemed really sad for some reason, so we kept our distance. Plus I don't think he likes me very much. Anyway, Soonyoung was paying more attention than me but he said that some guy came up to Hyungwon and grabbed him. I think your dog -- Meongmeongi, right? Meongi tried to bite him but he kicked him off and Meongi ran off toward us. Thank god we caught him before he could get anywhere. I was busy trying to calm down Meongi but Soonyoung screamed, 'Seokmin I think he's been shot!' oh my god, Minhyuk, please tell me you're on your way there, he was bleeding so m--"_

 _"_ _Seokmin!! Stop!"_

_"Please get there soon, Minhyuk, please. I'm so worried."_

____

Minhyuk gripped Hyunwoo's arm as they walked down the brightly lit halls of the hospital, the sterile smell assaulting his nostrils. He wanted to scream and all he could think about was Hyungwon. Was he okay? Was he sad? Was he lonely, did he hate Minhyuk for ignoring him? He let Hyunwoo lead him down the maze of the hospital, finding Hyungwon's room and standing in front of the closed door anxiously.

He had just gotten through surgery. Minhyuk wasn't sure if it was serious or not, but since they operated somewhere on his torso he assumed it was. Hyungwon's father, who had rushed here in a state of panic and was currently in the cafeteria getting coffee for everyone, had told them Hyungwon had to have blood transfusions and would probably have to have more. Minhyuk didn't understand half of what he explained, all he registered was that Hyungwon was still in critical condition.

He was in the ICU, and originally Hyunwoo and Minhyuk weren't allowed in there, but Hyunwon's father made such a fuss that they relented. Minhyuk was thankful for him. "He's gonna be okay," whispered Hyunwoo's voice, taking the doorknob and pushing the door open slowly. Minhyuk peered into the room, his knees almost buckling and his heart sinking at the sight.

Hyungwon was surrounded and hooked up by so many monitors. He looked small, fragile, with bandages around his bare torso and bruises on his eye and a cut on his bottom lip. Minhyuk let out a shaky sob, walking over to his best friend and brushing his brown hair out of his eyes. He was mindful of all of the wires, gently moving them out of the way and sitting hesitantly on the edge of the bed.

Minhyuk rubbed the younger boy's cheek with his thumb, tears rolling down his cheek. "Chaebogi," he breathed softly. "Chaebogi, I'm so sorry," he cried out. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have ignored you. I should've come home, I should have--"

He felt Hyunwoo's hand on his shoulder, stopping his words. "This isn't your fault, Minhyuk," he said, rubbing his shoulder gently. "Nothing could've prevented it."

"I still ignored him. I was the cause of it, of him being upset and angry," Minhyuk murmured, guilt eating from the bottom of his chest. "Hyunwoo, what if he dies being upset and angry at me?" the boy cried.

Hyunwoo's grip on the other's shoulder tightened. "He won't die, Minhyuk. Don't say these things."

Minhyuk still cried, his tears wetting the younger's gown as he leaned his head against his shoulder and gripping his hand tightly. Hyunwoo's hand was at the small of his back, keeping him steady and grounded, until he fell into a light sleep.

____

Hyungwon was in a constant state of feeling as if he was falling, yet he wasn't panicking. It was if he was being watched over by someone, something, making sure he wasn't going to hit the ground and that comforted him.

He knew he was waking up slowly when a sharp pain in his torso ran up his side and he visibly winced. He heard soft murmurs in the room, but he wasn't sure who was speaking just yet. His mind was still too clouded with pain medication.

"He talked to Hoseok," he heard a voice. It took him a minute to realize who it was. Hyunwoo.

"Oh," said another one, sounding like a disappointed puppy. Minhyuk.

"It's not like that. I was there, in the living room," Hyunwoo said in a comforting tone. "He apologized for his actions."

"You were eavesdropping?"

Hyunwoo chuckled lightly. "Kind of. You guys kept me in the dark, I had to figure out what was going on."

Minhyuk was quiet for a bit. "What'd he say then?"

Hyunwoo hummed. Hyungwon could hear him shuffling a bit. "That he was sorry for what he did. That he loved him, once, and he just wanted to feel loved again, and he figured that having sex with him would fill the void he left."

Hyunwoo was quiet for a few more minutes and he kept going. "He also said he didn't realize someone was already filling that void way before they broke up."

"What did he mean?"

"I... well, he said... I don't know, this seems wrong because it was an intimate conversation, but I think you need to hear it." Hyunwoo paused again. Why was everyone pausing so much?! "He thanked Hoseok for loving him once, and for making him feel loved. Then he apologized again."

"For what?"

"For falling in love with someone else while they were together."

Hyungwon heard Minhyuk let out a shaky breath. The younger male felt himself becoming more aware of the situation as time went on.

"While they were together?"

Hyunwoo hummed again. "Mhm. He said... that he didn't realize it at the time, he didn't realize it until recently, but he's always loved you. He was too dumb or too scared or in too deep with Hoseok to realize it. Then he said maybe that was the real reason why he acted so crazy. Why he had sex with Hoseok so many times. Maybe because he knew he was no good, he wasn't good for you, you deserved someone so much better, he started to wreck himself."

"T-that's not true." Minhyuk was crying now. His voice was shaky, hurt was laced in his words. "That's not true..."

"I know it isn't, but he doesn't know that."

"I can't... why am I so stupid?"

Hyungwon's heart broke, hearing Minhyuk say these words. He wasn't stupid, he was smart, he was brilliant. He was the sun and he wore his heart on his sleeve. He loved deeply, he loved too much, and no one in the world could ever give him enough love he deserved. The younger was fully aware of the situation now, he remembered how he got here and why his pain was so severe. He needed to wake, he needed to tell Minhyuk he was wrong, he wasn't stupid but he was smart, amazing, loving, caring.

Hyungwon let out a pained groan as he tried to move, opening his eyes. They darted around and landed on the older two huddled together, Minhyuk crying on Hyunwoo's chest. At the sound of his groan, Minhyuk looked up with wide eyes and a tear-tracked face.

"Hyungwon!" he yelled, rushing to his side and brushing his hair back. "Are you okay? Do you need more medicine? I'm so sorry, I'm so sor--"

Hyungwon lifted his shaky hand and put his finger to Minhyuk's lips. "It's not your fault," he said, his voice raspy with unuse. "I'm fine."

Hyunwoo had disappeared, muttering something about getting a nurse. Hyungwon took the time to cup Minhyuk's cheek in his hand. "You're not-- you're not stupid, Minhyukkie. You're smart, and kind, and amazing. You're the most beautiful person I've ever m-met before in my life."

Silence followed for a few moments. Hyungwon looked up at Minhyuk, etching his face into his memory for the thousandth time. His mind was still fuzzy with the medication, his heart was beating wildly in his chest. "How long.. have I been asleep?" 

Minhyuk smiled gently, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "A while. Three days... you're out of ICU now. You probably didn't know you were even in it," he chuckled. Hyungwon shook his head in response, barely moving it. "You're okay. You'll make a full recovery. You gave us a scare, though," his voice got shaky as he spoke. "You almost died, Hyungwonnie." 

Hyungwon blinked. "But I didn't."

Minhyuk let out a shaky smile, tears welling in his eyes again. "I'm so glad you didn't,' He gripped the younger's wrist in his hand. "I love you, Hyungwon."

"I love you too, Minhyuk, I am truly in love with you," Hyunwon murmured, his own eyes overflowing with tears. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I wa-was hurting myself, too, but I didn't know it. Please know... Please realize that... the time you were away, I found myself. I learned... I learned how to cope with the pain without needing someone else. I learned how to fo-forgive Hoseok and I knew how to move on.... It was only for a week but... I learned... I learned who I am. I learned what I wanted."

Minhyuk moved his face and kissed the hand that was on his cheek, wrapping his fingers around the younger's and kissing his knuckles. "What was that?"

"I want you. I want you and your sunshine and happiness. You're so golden and warm and... beautiful. You make me... a better person. I'm s-so much happier with you... you make me feel worth it."

"You are worth it."

Hyungwon pursed his dry, chapped lips. "N-no I'm not. Not for you."

Minhyuk looked at him. "You're more than worth it, Chae Hyungwon," he said, his voice somehow soft and stern at the same time. "You're kind, and beautiful, and you give the best hugs. When you laugh I want to die of happiness... it's such a beautiful sound to my ears. You're a little sunshine of your own, you know. Despite being quiet and timid and sometimes grumpy... those qualities make you _you_. You're gorgeous and smart, and maybe you're a little messed up but we all are, aren't we? You're my sunshine, Hyungwon. You always have been."

Hyungwon's tears rolled down his cheeks as he closed his eyes. "I have? So, when we were little, when you asked me to marry you... you were serious, huh?"

He opened his eyes and was met with Minhyuk's signature sunshine smile. "Definitely."

___

_three months later;_

Minhyuk smiled to himself as Hyungwon nuzzled his face into his chest. He could hear the soft pitter-patter of rain as it hit the window. The younger boy in his arms whimpered, gripping the older's shirt in his fist. He had been having nightmares more frequently, and the older was happy to help him through it.  Minhyuk kissed his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, trying to gently wake him from his nightmare.

Hyungwon's eyes fluttered open and he peered at Minhyuk with wide, sleepy eyes. Minhyuk smiled down at him. "It was just a dream, baby," he whispered.

The younger smiled sleepily at him, playing with the older's shirt as his heart rate slowed down. Memories of their past months together rose to his mind. When he was released from the hospital, when Minhyuk wouldn't leave his side for the first few days. How they'd kiss until their lips were bruised, how Hyungwon had to stop before things got too rough for his still healing body. They still hadn't crossed that line just yet, but he knew it would be soon. They had all of their lives, anyways. He was in bliss, it was more than he could handle. "Is this a dream?"

Minhyuk pressed his lips into the younger's, their lips molding together as if it was meant to be.

It was.

"No dream. You're still my sunshine," Minhyuk whispered, kissing him again. Hyungwon's grip on his shirt tightened as he whispered in the older's mouth:

"And you're still mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ending credits: beautiful by seventeen :')
> 
> it's over, and I'm sad. :(
> 
> how did you like it?
> 
> i'm always on twitter if you want to talk to me ^^; [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/1wonh0)


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